Things are SO stressful rite now. Trying to balance work with school is so hard. i have no life ne more. My English clas is insane, and that's not the half of it.. Happy to have Jason back though, thank God for that! Just wanting him to get a job to try and keep him from having to go to Iraq. Hopefully thay wont try and send him until November of '08. Hopefully by then he will be in the ROTC and in school. If he doesn't get a job soon he may have to go over to Iraq in another unit whether he likes it or not. Please pray!
Jenn
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Words left unsaid
I was at prayer tonight and I looked back on my day. I woke up went to work until about 2. After that I spent a butt load of money on a wedding gift. (Ill give you one guess as to whom's wedding gift it was). I came home to relax and that is the last thing I did. I worked on my college homework and then did house work. I sat a little ate and went to prayer, which brings me to how I feel.
I went there feeling so down. I was fine all day until I got home. I have discovered that I really dont like my life. I love the people in my life, but I just dont like my life. I love the fact that I have such great friends, a great family, a great boyfriend whom I love. I just hate the fact that I feel like I am going no where. I am so stressed about school an dI have panic attacks (of sorts) every time I think about it. I am gonna miss a whole week of college next week, and my professor are not helping. I am afraid that I wont be able to pay for college and that I am not going anywhere. I do believe that God has a plan and he is there, but I sometimes feel overwelmed like I do today. I went to prayer, I didnt feel like praying, I was too scared to ask someone to pray with me. I just felt like crawling into someone's lap and just crying. I really wantted to talk to those who were at prayer, but I couldn't. I really have needed to talk to a friend of mine for a while. And I know she would listen and help me and pray with me. But every time I go to talk I just dont. I really want to talk to her, but I just cant bring myself to start talking.
One a lighter note. I leave next monday (the 17th) to go pick up my boyfriend in missori. Ic ant wait to see him, its been like 5 months (almost).
If you are reading this, I really hope you are praying. I need it.
I went there feeling so down. I was fine all day until I got home. I have discovered that I really dont like my life. I love the people in my life, but I just dont like my life. I love the fact that I have such great friends, a great family, a great boyfriend whom I love. I just hate the fact that I feel like I am going no where. I am so stressed about school an dI have panic attacks (of sorts) every time I think about it. I am gonna miss a whole week of college next week, and my professor are not helping. I am afraid that I wont be able to pay for college and that I am not going anywhere. I do believe that God has a plan and he is there, but I sometimes feel overwelmed like I do today. I went to prayer, I didnt feel like praying, I was too scared to ask someone to pray with me. I just felt like crawling into someone's lap and just crying. I really wantted to talk to those who were at prayer, but I couldn't. I really have needed to talk to a friend of mine for a while. And I know she would listen and help me and pray with me. But every time I go to talk I just dont. I really want to talk to her, but I just cant bring myself to start talking.
One a lighter note. I leave next monday (the 17th) to go pick up my boyfriend in missori. Ic ant wait to see him, its been like 5 months (almost).
If you are reading this, I really hope you are praying. I need it.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
My day as a working student.
I woke up to my mom waking me to tell me that my brother had a 2 hr delay. What luck. I hear her leave and my brother woke himself at about 8 and got in the shower. I tossed and turned until 8:30, I set my alarm. I hate waking up with an alarm, but I hate waking up before my alarm (knowing I have more time to sleep) more. I get up and lounge around watching tv and eating breakfast. My brother joins me and around 9 he asks the smartest question of the century. "I have a 2 hour delay right?" I laugh because normal time, as most students know, is 8:15.
I, being a working girl, leave for work around 9:50. I work for my lovely Youth Pastor, which is only a 2 minute drive from my home. I am the "nanny" as they jokingly call me. I arrive to my "boss" and the builders (who are doing her kitchen) walking around looking up at the ceiling talking. I slink by and put my microwave lunch into the freezer. I spend a few minutes tickling and playing with the youngest boy I care for and speak a little with my "boss". The two other ones I watch are at school sooo...my boss and I laugh and joke for a bit. I then check on the youngest girl who is in the play room. I cross my fingers because the 2 yr old is painting. I enter expecting a mess, only to find she is painting quietly and NOT making a mess. WOOO HOOO!!! I say hi and complement her artistic talent and move on to the tasks given to me.
I vacuum the downstairs rooms as the youngest boy plays his Nintendo ds, I enlist the talents of the youngest girl to help me dust. I grab an old shirt, Pledge (lemon scent) and had the little one a Kleenex. I convinced the gullible girl that the tissue was a "special rag" and didn't need the smelly Pledge. I then joke around with the builders. I then sorted socks. It is like a new phenomenon in that house, none of the socks have matches. I guess with 8 people in the family it is kinda hard!
As I am doing socks the little girl is trying to help and we hear my boss, a.k.a the mom, offer me a grilled cheese. I cant refuse. I finish with the socks and the girl and I walk downstairs and we bless the food and dig in. I don't think I have ever had a grilled cheese THAT good! Yummy! I then help the little boy get his stuff around for kindergarten and watch the mom, the boy, and the dog walk out the door for the school. I wave as the mom is jerked out the door by the dog, as usual.
I finished vacuuming around in the kitchen and dining room since the builders were at lunch. I then walking the little girl to the park and we waited for the mom and dog to walk over from dropping off the boy at school. She leaves to walk home to go to the store to get bug spray and a few minutes later after some trips down the slide the girl and I walk back home. We arrive home and I spend a few minutes filling my iPod on the computer. I joke around with the peeps building the play set (oldest son of the mom and a church friend) and put the little girl to bed. The mom arrives home around 1:15 and didn't buy bug spray OH NO she bought the WHOLE store! (running joke) A million bags of groceries later and we spend a few minutes praying and I leave for class.
My first class was changed from one room to another room (in a whole 'nother building) It is my English class. We "circle the tables" and play this silly game where we go on a picnic. We have to say our name and bring something that starts with he first letter of our name. The trick is that you have to remember the person(s) names before you and what they brought. So I was like 20th and I had to say what I brought and EVERYONE else's name and what they brought before me. I wont forget their name though!
I then had an hour to kill so it being 4 I went to get dinner at Taco Bell, since I don't get out of class until 10 at night.
I get back after ordering and I eat my quesadilla in the car and go to my next class, which is Spanish. It was so easy. My teacher is from Chile so she has an accent. She was dressed in a ready LOUD dress with a LOUD pattern, it was distracting. BUT she was uber nice.
I then went to the most boring class I could imagine. It is intro to social work. 3 HOURS LONG!!! The ideas that will be presented are interesting to me but 3 hours only once a week is tough!
Ok I believe that this is my longest post EVER so I am going to bed...I am tired. Gotta work again tomorrow at, so not so bad. PLUS no class until Monday! 14 days until I get to see my boyfriend again. It has been almost 5 moths so I really am excited to see him graduate from the army. 14 days, this is my count down!!!
God Bless
I, being a working girl, leave for work around 9:50. I work for my lovely Youth Pastor, which is only a 2 minute drive from my home. I am the "nanny" as they jokingly call me. I arrive to my "boss" and the builders (who are doing her kitchen) walking around looking up at the ceiling talking. I slink by and put my microwave lunch into the freezer. I spend a few minutes tickling and playing with the youngest boy I care for and speak a little with my "boss". The two other ones I watch are at school sooo...my boss and I laugh and joke for a bit. I then check on the youngest girl who is in the play room. I cross my fingers because the 2 yr old is painting. I enter expecting a mess, only to find she is painting quietly and NOT making a mess. WOOO HOOO!!! I say hi and complement her artistic talent and move on to the tasks given to me.
I vacuum the downstairs rooms as the youngest boy plays his Nintendo ds, I enlist the talents of the youngest girl to help me dust. I grab an old shirt, Pledge (lemon scent) and had the little one a Kleenex. I convinced the gullible girl that the tissue was a "special rag" and didn't need the smelly Pledge. I then joke around with the builders. I then sorted socks. It is like a new phenomenon in that house, none of the socks have matches. I guess with 8 people in the family it is kinda hard!
As I am doing socks the little girl is trying to help and we hear my boss, a.k.a the mom, offer me a grilled cheese. I cant refuse. I finish with the socks and the girl and I walk downstairs and we bless the food and dig in. I don't think I have ever had a grilled cheese THAT good! Yummy! I then help the little boy get his stuff around for kindergarten and watch the mom, the boy, and the dog walk out the door for the school. I wave as the mom is jerked out the door by the dog, as usual.
I finished vacuuming around in the kitchen and dining room since the builders were at lunch. I then walking the little girl to the park and we waited for the mom and dog to walk over from dropping off the boy at school. She leaves to walk home to go to the store to get bug spray and a few minutes later after some trips down the slide the girl and I walk back home. We arrive home and I spend a few minutes filling my iPod on the computer. I joke around with the peeps building the play set (oldest son of the mom and a church friend) and put the little girl to bed. The mom arrives home around 1:15 and didn't buy bug spray OH NO she bought the WHOLE store! (running joke) A million bags of groceries later and we spend a few minutes praying and I leave for class.
My first class was changed from one room to another room (in a whole 'nother building) It is my English class. We "circle the tables" and play this silly game where we go on a picnic. We have to say our name and bring something that starts with he first letter of our name. The trick is that you have to remember the person(s) names before you and what they brought. So I was like 20th and I had to say what I brought and EVERYONE else's name and what they brought before me. I wont forget their name though!
I then had an hour to kill so it being 4 I went to get dinner at Taco Bell, since I don't get out of class until 10 at night.
I get back after ordering and I eat my quesadilla in the car and go to my next class, which is Spanish. It was so easy. My teacher is from Chile so she has an accent. She was dressed in a ready LOUD dress with a LOUD pattern, it was distracting. BUT she was uber nice.
I then went to the most boring class I could imagine. It is intro to social work. 3 HOURS LONG!!! The ideas that will be presented are interesting to me but 3 hours only once a week is tough!
Ok I believe that this is my longest post EVER so I am going to bed...I am tired. Gotta work again tomorrow at, so not so bad. PLUS no class until Monday! 14 days until I get to see my boyfriend again. It has been almost 5 moths so I really am excited to see him graduate from the army. 14 days, this is my count down!!!
God Bless
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